


Elsamaren--title TBD (suggestions are appreciated)

by frozen_behind_the_scenes



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies), Frozen - Anderson-Lopez & Lopez/Lee
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Elsamaren Week (Disney), F/F, Friends to Lovers, Give Elsa A Girlfriend (Disney), Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Elsa (Disney), Post-Frozen 2 (2019), Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-19 10:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22276387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozen_behind_the_scenes/pseuds/frozen_behind_the_scenes
Summary: Post-Frozen 2. Elsa has moved to Northuldra and is grappling with new emotions--about Honeymaren?
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 89





	1. And I'm Holding on Tight to You

Chapter 1- Honeymaren's pov  
Honeymaren sat by the fire, lost in thought. She didn't know what to do. The days were growing shorter, and, with that, her time spent in camp was dwindling. The reindeer needed to bulk up for plunging arctic temperatures and vegetation was becoming sparse. Finding a plentiful meadow for her kiddos took more than half the day. And although Honeymaren woke before dawn, she'd exit her tent to find that Elsa was nowhere to be found.

It had been a few months since the ice queen had settled in the Northuldran camp. The first few weeks were delightful; Elsa seemed to fit right in with the Northuldra and was somewhat of a celebrity to the children. The ice queen had set her tent up in the middle of camp and spent her days exploring the surrounding mountains or asking elders about her mother and grandparents. But as time passed, Honeymaren had noticed Elsa shrinking away from the others. 

During the day Elsa would stay in her tent and sometimes Honeymaren wouldn't see her until evening. Other times the queen would leave camp and not come back for days at a time. Upon return Elsa would brush off her absence as nothing worrisome--she was just visiting Ahtohallan.

Honeymaren was concerned about Elsa. Along with her increased solitude, she seemed to be less and less comfortable around herself and Ryder. Unlike the Northuldra, Elsa seemed to recoil at any human contact. Honeymaren was used to holding hands, hugging, or even light touches of affection but every time she got close to Elsa, the queen would back away, almost subconsciously.

"Um, are you alive?"

Honeymaren jerked upright and blinked her eyes. Ryder had sat down on the opposite side of the fire while Honeymaren was lost in thought and began warming his hands in the heat. 

Ryder snapped his fingers, "Cuz if you aren't I get to keep your reindeer."

Honeymaren mock-glared at her brother, "As if. No, I was just thinking about Elsa."

" _Ooh!_ " Ryder taunted. "Of _course_ you're thinking about Elsa."

His sister looked away, oblivious to his intimation, "I'm concerned for her. Do you think she's doing okay?"

Ryder sighed, throwing a stray piece of wood into the fire, "Elsa seems like Elsa. Please tell me you have some food for me. I've been with the herd all day."

Honeymaren rose from the bench, still distracted by her thoughts, "I better go check on her. Do you think she's here?" She tugged her cap on and stepped over the log, narrowly missing a sharp limb on the side.

The fire flickered in Ryder's face, his expression a bewildered contortion. His sister was so dumb.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Elsa's tent was just past Yelena's and situated near the tallest pine. It was always distinguishable by a light frost that surrounded the bottom edge--a testament to the ice queen herself. As she approached the dwelling, Honeymaren's heart began to pound. She was always excited to see her friend.

Elsa's tent was also the only one without a trail of smoke leading out the top. The ice queen never built a fire inside, preferring instead the weather of northern Norway. This meant that Honeymaren had no way of knowing if Elsa was inside--sometimes an anxiety-inducing affair.

"Elsa?" Honeymaren rapped her knuckles on the taut fabric, producing a ripple effect over the tent side. She heard a rustling from inside and her heart lept. Elsa was here.

The tent flap parted and Elsa stepped out. Honeymaren breathed in sharply. Elsa looked...ill. Really, really, ill. Deep circles under her eyes stood out against her pale features, and somehow her cheeks were both flushed and pallid. Honeymaren could see that Elsa's hair was plastered to her head by sweat, creating an icy sheen on the queen's face. 

" _Elsa..._ " Honeymaren whispered. She moved her hand up to feel Elsa's forehead but the queen flinched and Honeymaren remembered her aversion. "Elsa, you're sick."

Elsa cleared her throat with difficulty and looked away in shame, "I'm fine, really. Just a cold. I get these pretty often." Her hands fidgeted, breaking down her normally strict composure.

Honeymaren had to clasp her hands together tightly to keep from pulling Elsa into a hug. "Is there anything I can do? What does Anna do when you get sick?" She queried.

"Truly, I'm alright. You're very kind Honeymaren. I'll be over this in a couple days." Elsa coughed tremulously.

Honeymaren regarded her anxiously, "If you need anything, please let me know. You know where my tent is, right?"

Elsa nodded and gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Honeymaren. Good night." 

Elsa stepped discreetly into her tent but not before Honeymaren could see the frosty luster of the inside fabric. With a sigh, Honeymaren proceeded to her tent and thought about Elsa's manner. She is very clearly not okay. But what could Honeymaren do? She didn't want to impose; she didn't want to push Elsa away. With a firm resolve, Honeymaren decided she would confront Elsa tomorrow. She had a feeling that Elsa wouldn't accept help unless Honeymaren was unyielding about her offer. It was the Anna thing to do.

A reindeer grunted from their pen and Honeymaren took that as a sign. Tomorrow she would help Elsa get better.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Honeymaren woke up the next morning to autumn bird calls and reindeer grunts. Her tent fabric was lit up from the outside, an image she had yet to get used to since her whole life had been void of direct sunlight. During the night her mind had raced with thoughts about how to help Elsa and she had kicked off her fur blanket. It lay dusty beside her waist and Honeymaren unsuccessfully fought off the early morning chill. 

With a yawn, she stepped from her tent and struck two rocks together to start the camp bonfire. Heat drew outwards from the blaze and seemed to spark life in the camp. One by one the Northuldra exited their tents and began their day--some gathering the reindeer, others getting ready to forage, the hunters slinging bows over their shoulders. Life was alight in the camp. And Elsa was absent. Again.

Honeymaren jogged to the medicine tent and grabbed a bottle of akvavit and an extra blanket. With luck, Elsa's sickness could be cured with something they already had in the camp. Honeymaren crossed her fingers, ran out of the tent...and smacked into Yelena.

"Nattura, you're gonna be the death of me!" Yelana yelled brusquely.

Honeymaren saluted and jogged away, "I'll get you a reindeer steak tonight!" She called out.

As Honeymaren approached Elsa's tent, she noticed the ground was frostier than usual. It was a worrisome sign. Honeymaren lifted her hand to rap on the tent fabric and could feel cold air emanating from the structure. She took a deep breath and knocked.

"Elsa? It's me again, sorry..." she cleared her throat. "Its Honeymaren. You in there?"

No answer.

Honeymaren's heart raced. _What if Elsa isn't okay?_ Honeymaren abandoned all pretenses and pulled the tent flaps apart. They were like sheets of ice--cold and inflexible. She looked inside and drew in her breath. 

"Elsa!" She cried. Elsa was curled up in a ball, her breath puffing out in short gasps, her hands a frosty blue. Honeymaren knelt swiftly beside the frail queen and wrapped her in the blanket. 

Elsa glanced at the Northuldran girl, "Hey Honeymaren. Don't worry, this happens sometimes. I just need to wait it out." She chuckled feebly.

"No, Elsa. Enough is enough. Now, do you want to go sit by the fire outside or do you want me to make one in here?" Honeymaren was firm.

Elsa was stunned at Honeymaren's sudden fierceness. "Um, in here I guess. Thank you."

Honeymaren brought in a pile of logs from outside and started a blaze that instantly warmed the tent. With every degree, Elsa's shivers seemed to dissipate and Honeymaren watched steadily. It took every ounce of strength not to wrap her arms around the frozen, sickly girl. 

"Honeymaren, you...you don't have to stay here. Thank you for the fire but really, I'll be fine. It's too cold in here for you." Elsa intoned and reached her eyes up to Honeymaren's.

Honeymaren wanted to cry. And she was feeling too many emotions. _Why did she feel so protective over this girl?_

"I'm not going anywhere until you return to a normal color." Honeymaren finally announced. She sat cross-legged next to Elsa, making sure to leave a space between her and the queen. If Elsa felt uncomfortable with the close distance, she was too sick to react. The fire crackled loudly and filled a vacuum of silence inside the tent. The only sounds were sparks popping and Elsa's strained breathing.

Honeymaren regarded her friend. She wanted so badly to comfort her but was afraid of making Elsa upset. She decided to take a chance and put her hand on the shivering girl's shoulder. Elsa flinched but didn't pull away. 

Honeymaren breathed out in relief. She rubbed her thumb on Elsa's shoulder as a gesture of comfort. 

"How are you doing now?" Honeymaren inquired. She was half-afraid of the answer.

"O-okay. I'm feeling a little better." Elsa replied shakily. "I'm warmer. Thank you Honeymaren."

That was all Honeymaren wanted to hear. Elsa was gonna be okay. And Honeymaren was there for her.


	2. But Not Too Far, Or You'll Be Drowned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa is sick; Honeymaren comforts her

Chapter 1- Elsa's pov

  
It was like Arendelle all over again. And she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

For weeks Elsa had pushed away symptoms of an impending illness--upset stomach, chills, fever, but her frequent trips to Ahtohallan did nothing to help. The queen wanted answers, but the further she dove into the glacier, the more she was harmed instead of helped.

In her most recent trip, Elsa had planned to go search through Arendellian literature about the matter that had been infecting her mind for the past three months. Without a clear deadline, though, she had accidentally spent days inside the glacier's harsh environment and returned to the Northuldra camp with a raging cold.

Elsa shivered bitterly. Ahtohallan was a blessing and a curse. And a trap. Her icy hands curled close to her chin in an attempt to warm them--a futile attempt. The magic of Ahtohallan was draining her slowly. Or the stress that plagued her mind.

But Elsa was desperate for the answers.

Something was wrong with her. She had known it for a long time, but only recently, when she had moved to Northuldra, had the issue become more severe. 

Since she was a little girl, Elsa had felt different from her sister. While Anna vocalized her opinions about true love and marrying handsome prince, the eldest princess was deterred by the thought. She tried to imagine life as a prosperous queen, guiding her kingdom with the help of her husband, but the thought was intolerable. Her life felt like a lie.

And now, here in the Northuldra camp, things were becoming much more complicated. Specifically, Honeymaren was making things complicated.  
Elsa couldn't deny her attraction to the older girl. Every time Honeymaren was near Elsa, the queen had trouble breathing. Her heart pounded, her face flushed. And she felt entirely nauseated.

 _I can't like a girl,_ Elsa thought. Thats _...that's wrong. That's unnatural._

The fact that she felt attracted to Honeymaren twisted her stomach. And she sought answers from Ahtohallan. How could she transfer these feelings to a man? Or better yet, get rid of them altogether. She just wanted to be normal.

Elsa wrapped her arms tighter around herself. Her parents would be so ashamed of her. She was ashamed of herself. The ice queen shut her eyes tightly. _It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Honeymaren is just a friend. Just a friend._

Unknowingly, she had been digging her fingernails in the side of her arm. Small droplets of blood fell to the ground, creating a mosaic of emotional pain. 

With every passing thought, the inside of the tent dropped a few degrees, creating a personal hell of ice. And it had been days since she left her abode, refusing to eat or drink. She was too ashamed of her thoughts. The fear of seeing Honeymaren kept her from leaving.

Then suddenly she heard a light rapping on the side of her tent. Honeymaren called out; Elsa's stomach dropped. _Not now, please not now._

But Elsa knew she had to put on a façade so as not to worry the Northuldran girl. With excruciating effort, she pulled herself from the ground and stepped towards the tent opening. Her icy hands pulled apart the flap and she stepped outside. 

Honeymaren gasped at Elsa's appearance. Elsa couldn't look at her. What if she accidentally revealed something? 

Honeymaren began questioning Elsa but the queen answered without thinking. It was imperative that she get away from Honeymaren as soon as possible. Her hands covered the punctures in her arm to avoid any suspicion.

After a quick conversation, Honeymaren seemed to accept Elsa's assurances and left her at the tent.

The ice queen shivered again and retreated back into the cold.

Honeymaren. _She was just--so beautiful._ Elsa's nausea heightened. Her insides seemed to be ripping apart from themselves. Half of her wanted to run after Honeymaren, tell her how she felt. But she knew that was wrong. If Elsa did that she might be exiled from the tribe, never to see Honeymaren again. The thought hurt her heart.

As the temperature continued to drop, Elsa's face grew ashen and she fell into a fitful sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The queen woke to the calls of someone from outside her tent. Elsa opened her eyes painfully and listened but couldn't distinguish the voice. The icy abode had become an enclosure to which nothing could enter. 

Her arms were deathly cold; the fingernail punctures patently visible against her pallor. Elsa's head pounded and her breath was shallow. _Conceal. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show._

Suddenly the heaviness of a blanket wrapped around her. Elsa glanced up. It was Honeymaren. Honeymaren looking at her with focused concern. 

"Hey, Honeymaren. Don't worry, this happens sometimes. I just need to wait it out." Elsa tried to reassure the Northuldran girl. Honeymaren frowned at her and rose with purpose. 

"No Elsa. Enough is enough. Now do you want to go sit by the fire outside or do you want me to make one in here?" Honeymaren said fiercely.

Elsa looked at her in surprise and realized that refusal was futile. "Um, in here I guess. Thank you."

Elsa hated to admit it but Honeymaren's presence had made her feel better. In the short time Honeymaren was here, her coughs had lessened and she no longer felt the agonizing pain in her stomach. Soon a fire was blazing in the tent and the Northuldran girl sat next to the shivering Elsa. 

Elsa's mixed emotions were rushing through her head. She wanted Honeymaren here. _Was that wrong? And why did Honeymaren seem to care so much? They were friends but so was she and Ryder. And Yelana. But Honeymaren was here and refusing to leave. Maybe...maybe Honeymaren liked her back? No, that was crazy. And yet...?_

As if Honeymaren had read Elsa's mind, Elsa felt a hand on her shoulder. The sudden touch made Elsa tense up but she resolved not to move away. Honeymaren's hand was comforting. 

The fire blazed bright in the small enclosure and flickered in the girls' faces. With every minute, Elsa felt less sick, but her mind continued to race. 

Honeymaren interrupted her thoughts, "I...I know you don't like people to touch you but can I just see if you have a fever? I'm worried about you."

Elsa's heart twisted. _Worried about me?_ The words tumbled around her brain. But she answered the Northuldran girl with a nod and felt a soft hand placed against her forehead.

" _Elsa..._ " Honeymaren murmured. "You're burning up." 

Elsa fought back tears, "Honeymaren, I'll be okay. The fire...the fire really helps."

Elsa could see anxiety strewn across the Northuldran girl's face. Her eyes dug into Elsa's and Elsa had to look away. She felt Honeymaren's arm cautiously wrap across her shoulder and pull her closer.

 _No no no please no,_ Elsa thought. _This is wrong. Its...wrong_. But she didn't pull away. 

Honeymaren began to hum the Northuldran lullaby and Elsa no longer could fight back her tears. The combination of Honeymaren and her mother's song threw her into an emotional deep end. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks, freezing as they dropped towards the still icy ground. 

Honeymaren gasped when she saw the younger girl crying, "Hey hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. Do you want me to leave?"

Elsa shook her head, "No...I'd like you to stay...um...if that's okay." She choked out, marvelling at her own words. They felt right.

She heard the Northuldran girl breathe out in relief. The blanket tightened around her shoulders. Elsa felt Honeymaren's arms wrap around her and she sank into the comforting embrace. 

Part of her brain was screaming at her, at the wrongness of the situation. But Elsa fought to tune it out. She wanted to be with Honeymaren, and for the first time in forever, she felt safe.


	3. I will be right here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna comes to Northuldra and visits Elsa

Elsa stirred and blinked her eyes groggily. A fitful night of sleep had left the queen fatigued– it reminded her of days in the castle. Smoldering remains of the fire provided the only light; she must have slept straight through the day. Then she noticed the blanket, still clumsily draped over her body. And an arm. _Honeymaren. Honeymaren was still here!_ She must’ve drifted off while trying to soothe Elsa’s violent shivering…

Elsa’s stomach dropped, adrenaline coursed through her body and she lept up, jolting the Northuldran girl awake. Elsa backed away slowly, narrowly avoiding a pile of ashes, mind racing. Panic had seized the queen and her brain was no longer functioning properly. She had only one thought, she and Honeymaren had slept in the same tent! _And that was wrong._

Honeymaren, still trying to discern the situation, sat upright. Why was Elsa looking at her like that–with a violent mixture of dismay and antipathy? 

She rose to her feet and held her hands out “Elsa? Are you okay?” The words fell through the air, struck by falling temperatures and sudden turbulence. Elsa shut her eyes and covered her ears with her elbows, whispering sharply to herself. “Don’t feel. _Don’t feel._ ”

Honeymaren glanced around at the tent, baffled by Elsa’s panic. The tent walls had begun to freeze again and the ground now had a crust of sharp frost. _What was going on?_ She knew the ice queen had trouble separating emotion from her powers, but the cause of Elsa’s agitation was still a mystery.

The Northuldran attempted to calm her friend, “Hey, hey it’s okay. You’re safe. It’s safe here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Honeymaren reached out to touch Elsa’s shoulder for reassurance just as the spirit opened her eyes. Elsa recoiled in fear.

“No! Honeymaren you…you have to leave. Um, please. I’m sorry. I just…I just need some time alone.”

The blanket had been kicked into the fire during the scene and began to burn. Neither girl noticed.

“Elsa, can you please just try to calm down for a second?” Honeymaren spoke softly.

Elsa’s eyes were terrified. She needed to get out of here. Now.

The panicked queen dashed from the tent and out of the Northuldran camp, barely able to identify what was happening. Her feet pounded against the soft clay, sharp pine needles scraped her face as she rushed to nowhere in particular. A trail of icy footsteps followed her haste.

Honeymaren stepped out of the tent and, seeing Elsa nowhere, sank to the ground. Her mind raced with bewilderment. _Did I do something bad?_ She thought that they had had a nice time last night. She really cared about Elsa. But the queen’s panic made her doubtful that Elsa felt the same way. 

Honeymaren leaned her back against Elsa’s tent and closed her eyes. Ever since the ice queen had settled in Northuldra, Honeymaren had felt weird. Herding the reindeer, taking care of the kids, meeting with the elders, all her normal obligations were just that–normal. But as dusk settled in, she might catch a glimpse of Elsa visiting the reindeer or entertaining Northuldran children with her powers. And her heart would drop a bit. 

Occasionally they would spend time together, discussing the spirits, the past, Elsa inquiring about Northuldran culture. Those moments were innocent enough, nonetheless, Honeymaren couldn’t deny that she felt different around the stunning ice queen. Every sideways glance created a new dimension of emotion. But Honeymaren felt a new kind of adrenaline now. One laced with disappointment and heartache. Elsa had left. She had forced Honeymaren away and ran off. It was over.

————

The spirit rushed through the forest, too overwhelmed to care about the direction she was running. It was nighttime, they had slept through the day together. And Elsa was sickened by the thought. _It was wrong. Right? Didn’t Honeymaren see that?_ And still, Elsa couldn’t help but feel a flutter in her chest. She remembered the warm embrace of Honeymaren’s arms, the comforting and melodic sound of her mother’s lullaby being sung, the crackling of a fire and the feeling of safety. Elsa wanted to be like that again. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t. _It’s wrong,_ she reminded herself. Her lungs burned, her heart hurt, her head was pounding. 

She was broken again.

Suddenly she stopped. A medley of sounds whistled through the forest trees and set Elsa on guard. Wolves? Or maybe it was Bruni? She listened closer. In the distance she could make out the sound of reindeer hooves, wheels creaking, a dorky happy voice.

“Anna!” The queen cried out. Kristoff, Sven, and Anna pulled into view in their wagon and Elsa rushed towards the merry group. 

“ _Elsa?_ Elsa!” Anna lept from the still-moving wagon and ran to greet her sister, swinging her into a fierce hug.

“Wait. What are you doing out here so late? And why are you all scratched up?” Anna glared at her sister.

Elsa avoided the confrontation, “What are _you_ doing up here?! It's past sunset!” She hugged Anna tighter, grateful that, whatever she was here for, she was here.

“We got a late start. Somebody wanted to look fashionable for a cross-country trip. Kristoff, what were you thinking?”

“Hey, I always need to look good to see my future sister-in-law.” Kristoff grinned goofily and wrapped Elsa’s in a warm side-hug. 

Anna sighed heavily, “Olaf was right. Who knows the ways of men…”

Elsa’s heart was overflowing with joy. Her sister was here. For at least a moment she could forget the turmoil that had built itself inside her brain; she could breathe.

Sven grunted irritably. Elsa laughed. “Hey, bud. Handsome as always I see.” She walked over to scratch the proud animal’s chin.  
The reindeer grunted again, happily this time. Elsa could be counted on to notice a good grooming.

“So what _are_ you guys doing up here? Is everything okay?” Elsa inquired again.

“Oh yeah, everything’s fine! We just felt like dropping by for a bit. Next week is gonna be a little hectic and I wanted to see you beforehand.”

Truthfully, Anna had come up here because she was worried about Elsa. With Gale’s help, Yelana had sent the Arendellian queen a message detailing Elsa’s isolation and depressed behavior. As soon as Anna received the message, she informed Kai of her leaving and set out to find Kristoff. 

Now that she was here, Anna’s (and Yelana’s) fears were found to be substantiated. Elsa’s face was gaunt, her skin paler than usual–something she hadn’t seen since Elsa was a teenager. And the scratches all over her arms? But Elsa was clearly avoiding the problem and the younger sister was hesitant to push her. Especially right now–nighttime tended to be a sensitive time for Elsa. Anna decided to bring it up tomorrow and took Elsa’s arm in hers, smiling. At least, for now, she was here for her sister.

———————————————————–

Elsa stepped from her tent to find Kristoff and her sister laughing and enjoying a cup of tea by the main fire. She gathered her light coat around her shoulders, a source of comfort rather than heat, and walked over to her family. The Northuldran people were busy at work, hauling firewood and getting ready to set out with the reindeer. A light sparkle shined in the early morning dawn, casting a brilliant glow over each tent.

“Elsa! Good morning! Currant tea?” Kristoff offered and held out an empty guksi.

Elsa shook her head with a smile and sat down on the log by her sister.

Anna was chattering away about palace business as usual and the ice queen felt consolation in the familiarity. A thin mist surrounded the Northuldran camp creating a mystical environment, a lovely morning for the three.

“And I was like, ”Really? We’re talking about this again? Bark down is dryer. Its basic botany, people. But of course, I couldn’t really say that because I’m the queen, you know, and I have to be _poliiiite_.” Anna dragged out the last word for emphasis. 

Elsa chuckled and picked up a twig from the ground beside her. In front of her feet, she began drawing abstract shapes in the dust, the kind she usually made with her magic when no one was looking.

“And then the kitchen staff ran up to my office and started complaining about the stove–you know, the one that continually breaks down…Jameson tried to fix it. But they didn’t know what they were doing, obviously. So I asked our blacksmith, Tuva, and she came over and fixed the stove in about five seconds. And her wife was there too and is apparently really well-versed in politics…” 

Elsa’s stick dropped to the ground. “Wait. Anna. Stop.”

Anna looked at her sister in confusion, “Okay…?”

“You said Tuva’s…wife?” Elsa furrowed her eyebrows. “Tuva has a wife?!”

“Um yeah, keep up. So then I was like-”

“As in, female partner? As in, Tuva is married to a woman?”

“Elsa. We just established that. So then-”

Elsa jumped from the log and stood in front of her sister. “Tuva. The blacksmith. _Wife_.”

 _Yelana was right to bring me up here,_ Anna thought. _Elsa is having a complete mental breakdown._

“I don’t know how much clearer I have to be…” Anna said slowly.

Elsa chuckled, then she laughed. _A wife!_ Elsa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. _It was normal. Her feelings were normal._

The ice queen sat back down on the log, overwhelmed with the recent information. Kristoff and Anna exchanged confused looks.  
Kristoff cleared his throat, “Um, you alright there, Elsa?”

The eldest stared at the fire, unable to blink. She was in shock. Her mind whirled with the information.

Anna dared to place a hand on her sister’s shoulder, knowing well that a surprised Elsa could lead to a violent shower of ice and snow, “Um Elsa, you’re kinda freaking us out over here.”

The spirit finally found her voice, “Oh sorry, um, Anna can I speak to you for a bit?”

Anna glanced at Kristoff and he gave a nod of assurance. “Absolutely.” The youngest ventured. “Let’s take a walk.”

Anna stood up and offered an elbow to her eldest sister who took it with a gracious smile. The sisters started away from the camp, walking down a reindeer trail that led to one of the only streams in Northuldra. Elsa’s eyes stayed fixed on the ground as she continued to process Anna’s words. The youngest studied her sister, trying to be patient, though concerned with Elsa’s demeanor.

Once they were out of earshot, Anna squeezed Elsa’s hand, a gesture to show her willingness to listen.

Elsa felt embarrassed. She shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of this. But she could trust Anna. _Right?_

“So what’s up?” Anna broke the silence.

Elsa looked away, her face flushing. “I…I guess…um…”

Anna stopped the pair and put her hands on Elsa’s shoulders. Looking her deep in the eyes Anna reassured the ice queen, “Elsa, you’re safe. You can tell me anything.”

“I just don’t want you to think less of me, I guess…”

“Elsa. You mean the world to me.” Anna guaranteed her. “Nothing could make me think you’re anything less than extraordinary.”

The eldest sighed, “I think I like someone.” She finally disclosed. 

Anna gasped and shook her sister’s shoulders, “What?! Oh my gosh, you have to tell me who! They live in Northuldra, right? Is it Ryder?”

Elsa giggled at Anna’s enthusiasm, “Not Ryder, no.”

“Then who?! Elsa, you can’t just say that and not tell me who it is!”

Elsa looked away, still fearful. But Anna didn’t let up on her nagging.

“C'mon, please _please_ tell me.”

Damn, Anna was stubborn. _Queen of Arendelle fit her well,_ Elsa thought to herself.

“I just don’t know if you’ll find it weird…” Elsa intoned, her shoulders beginning to tense up.

“Elsa, your attempts to act out charades are weird. Liking someone–having a crush on someone is human! You can tell me, I promise.”

“Its…” Elsa cleared her throat. “It's Honeymaren.” She finally ceded. The spirit closed her eyes and turned her head away, afraid of Anna’s response.

“Oh. My. Goodness." Elsa flinched. "You and Honeymaren would be so cute together!” Anna squealed.

The spirit looked to her sister in surprise. “So you don’t think it’s weird that I like a girl?”

“No, silly. Who cares what gender you like?”

Elsa was dumbstruck. She guessed that Anna was more open-minded because she didn’t spend the entirety of her adolescence in a secluded room. Maybe it really was normal for someone to like the same gender. Elsa smiled softly. Anna’s acceptance meant the world to her.

“So are you gonna tell her?” Anna queried excitedly. Elsa gaped at her in surprise.

 _Poor Elsa,_ Anna thought. _Her crush on Honeymaren had literally been tearing her apart. What a dummy._

“Absolutely not. And you can’t either.” Elsa looked at her pointedly, knowing Anna’s next question.

Anna gave a sound of irritated disapproval, “Ugh, fine.”

But she was just teasing. The younger sister was absolutely overjoyed at Elsa’s confession. It felt like Elsa was finally getting better. She deserved it. Her trauma didn’t have to define the rest of her life. Anna took Elsa in a warm hug.

“I’m so proud of you, sis.”

Elsa melted into Anna’s caring eyes. She couldn’t ask for a better sister.

“And damn, Elsa. Honeymaren is cute. You chose a good one.” Anna winked.

Elsa giggled in embarrassment, “Her eyes…and her…she’s just…”

The youngest sister grinned. Elsa was so oblivious to her infatuation. It was adorable. Her sister was okay and Anna could breathe again.


	4. Heaven knows I tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Honeymaren tell Elsa her feelings? And how will Elsa react?

She had to apologize, that much was clear. But where to go from there? _Could I muster the courage to tell Honeymaren my feelings?_ Elsa shook her head to clear the thought. That would be crazy. One step at a time.

It was a dusky evening. Anna had left earlier in the day, leaving her with a warm parting hug, something she missed most about living in Arendelle. 

_“I’ll always be here; I’ll always love you.”_ She had whispered in her eldest sister’s ear before squeezing her shoulders tightly. It was a tender sentiment. And then they were gone. Elsa had leaned against a tree, watching their retreating wagon until it was a just a trace of the past. 

Now she ambled aimlessly around the forest, twisting ice into the underbrush. The trees watched her from above as she wandered back and forth, seemingly lost in thought. The sun melted through the forest, illuminating the ribbons of frost. The greenery was a million different shades—emerald, olive, jade; it was a variance unmatched. But the queen was blind to the charm as she ran her hands along the asperous bark. 

Elsa turned suddenly back to the camp. She had decided what she was going to do. 

“Honeymaren?” The spirit called lightly into the corral where Honeymaren was knelt down by a reindeer calf. _The calf from their first night together,_ Elsa thought fondly.  
Honeymaren peered over the herd but continued wrapping the calf’s leg, “Oh, hi Elsa. Are you feeling better?”

It had been a couple of days since the tent incident and Honeymaren still felt guarded around the queen. She was afraid that Elsa might react the same way if Honeymaren confronted her. And she was a little resentful too…Honeymaren thought she deserved at least an explanation as to why Elsa had panicked so suddenly.

Elsa cleared her throat and began apprehensively, “Um, I’m really sorry about the other night. You did nothing wrong, and I should’ve talked to you sooner.”

Honeymaren rose from the ground and walked over to Elsa, leaning on the gate in front of the spirit. She placed her chin in her hands, “I appreciate your apology. But I was worried about you, Elsa. Are you sure it’s nothing I did?”

Elsa’s eyes widened. The thought of Honeymaren worrying about her made Elsa’s stomach drop. She shook her head adamantly, “I was scared. Preconceived notions of…stuff…had gotten in my head. But I’m fine…now. And honestly, I really appreciated you being there for me that night.”

“Notions of what?” Honeymaren vaulted over the fence and stood in front of the queen, rubbing the dust from her hat. 

Elsa looked away, clearly agitated. She desperately wanted to tell Honeymaren the truth but was afraid of the Northuldran’s response. “Oh, nothing.” She laughed lightly to steer away from the conversation. “How’s Ikká doing?”

Honeymaren looked to the small reindeer who was now cuddled close to her mother. “A lot better. The abrasion wasn’t too deep, and she’s a tough little one. Plus, she’s too clingy to stay off her feet for long…”

The girls chuckled–Ikká was the reindeer they had shared on Elsa’s first night in Northuldra, and she was, as Honeymaren rightly identified, always in need of chin scratches. But for now, she was quiet, nestled with her friends and family just beside the tents.

Honeymaren brushed the last of the dust from her hat and placed it back on her head. She felt the tension between her and Elsa as they stood beside each other. There was a peculiar force, seemingly pushing them together while also creating an emotional rift. The spirit looked to be holding something back–something that needed to be said, and Honeymaren felt that it had to do with her. 

She rubbed her temples and looked away. Every day her feelings for Elsa had strengthened, and when she was pushed away the other morning, she felt like she had lost something significant. Honeymaren wanted to have that back.

“Hey, so I’m gonna help out with the fishing tomorrow,” Honeymaren blurted impetuously. “Would you want to come? You’d have to get up pretty early…and it’ll be pretty cold…and maybe windy…you know, maybe you don’t even want to go, you…”

The snow queen smiled softly, “I’d love to go, Honeymaren.”

Honeymaren glanced up, heart jumping when she saw the queen’s reassuring glance. Her right hand played nervously with her dagger’s sheath. Whenever Elsa’s sincere eyes met her own she felt nervous…and safe.

“Meet here a little before dawn?” Honeymaren ventured.

“Absolutely.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Elsa.” She said with her eyes twinkling. Her fur boots made soft imprints in the dirt as she walked back to her tent, barely suppressing the urge to glance back at the ice queen.

  
————

It was before dawn. The earth had yet to warm up its chilled membrane; the animals yet to wake from repose. Elsa sat by the main fire, leg tapping rapidly against the dirt. She stared at the fire with such intensity that she almost fell into it when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

“Elsa!” Honeymaren exclaimed and grabbed the queen’s arm to stop her from stumbling into the inferno. “Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

The combination of Honeymaren’s touch and _almost burning to death in a fire_ had Elsa’s heart racing.

“No–no worries,” Elsa coughed and righted herself. “Just startled is all.”

Honeymaren released her grip, “I’m so sorry…”

“Honeymaren, it’s _okay_. You ready to head out?”

The Northuldran nodded and stepped back lightly to allow Elsa a path over the log. Now that they were together, Elsa’s heart fluttered and she began fiddling with her hands. Honeymaren looked amazing as always, her deep brown eyes and flushed cheeks against her inviting persona. 

Honeymaren gestured with her head, “We’ll walk this way. It only takes a few minutes to get to the lake.”

Elsa was having trouble processing her feelings as they walked in silence through the dusky woods. The conversation with Anna ran through her brain, competing with intrusive thoughts. Anna had said that it was okay for her to be attracted to a girl…but did Honeymaren think it was okay? Part of still felt that it was wrong, _this isn’t right, you need to stop._ Yet again, her identity was under attack.

Beside her, Honeymaren allowed the silence to take her deep into her thoughts as well. Unlike Elsa, Honeymaren knew she liked the queen–romantically–and was okay with her feelings. But she was still hesitant to bring it up with Elsa. It was hard when Elsa was so aversive to touch–not her fault, obviously–but complicated nonetheless. But yesterday’s encounter at the reindeer pen had given Honeymaren a burst of confidence. In her tent she had played out every scenario in her head, having to stop every few minutes because she’d get flustered at the thought of Elsa sitting just a few feet from her.

The pair walked close to each other and Honeymaren could feel a cool mist emanating from the ice queen. Although the night was warm, standing next to Elsa created a slight chill that allayed Honeymaren’s fluster. The Northuldran girl could not help but be enchanted by Elsa’s ever-hexed aura. And she almost felt undeserving to be with her–the fifth spirit.

They continued their silent walk through the woods until arriving at one of the Northuldran lakes, a timid sun barely peeking out from below the horizon. A few Northuldran canoes sat moored on the beach; sharp rocks scattered across the rest of the shore creating a hostile environment. Honeymaren wove through the boulders and deftly untied one of the canoes. 

“You ready?” Honeymaren stepped into the canoe with her right leg, stabilizing on the ground with her left for Elsa. Elsa nodded slowly. It wasn’t the canoe she was hesitant for…

The ice queen made her way over and climbed into the vessel, settling herself near the stern. Honeymaren waited until Elsa was steady and then pushed off on the sand with her left leg setting the canoe afloat. Two sturdy oars were situated by Honeymaren and she began to row steadily into the middle of the lake. 

“You ever rowed before?” Honeymaren asked, a mischievous smile taking over her features.

“Never. I didn’t have much time when I was a teenager to go out on the fjord.” 

“Too many princess lessons?” Honeymaren grinned.

“Something like that…”

Honeymaren remembered abruptly that Elsa was sensitive about her childhood. They have never fully discussed it, but she knew that it was a vulnerable topic for the queen. Before leaving, Anna had asked her to watch out for her sister.

  
_“Elsa has had a tough life–a tough childhood. Would you send me a note if you see her acting strangely? I need to know that she’s adjusting alright.”_

Honeymaren changed the subject quickly, “Oh hey, so…do you want to play a game? It’s what Ryder and I usually do when we go fishing.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Elsa dipped her hand into the lake, feeling the icy water against her skin. It grounded her; negative thoughts continuing to pound against her head.

“Okay so, Ryder stinks at this one, but it’s basically a get-to-know-you game. You just ask the other person questions, but they have to be weird.”

Elsa raised her eyebrows, “Weird? Like what?”

“Just something you wouldn’t normally ask people.”

“I’ll give it a shot, sure.” She smiled lightly.

Honeymaren continued rowing, shoulders straining against the water pressure, “Okay, um, if you were a potato…”

Elsa burst out laughing, “A potato?!”

Honeymaren winked, “If you were a potato, would you like to be fried or baked?”

“What?! Even if I was a potato, I’d still want to be alive. Neither.”

Honeymaren raised her eyebrow.

Elsa glanced to the water, “Okay fine, I’ll be a baked potato. Is that supposed to say something about me?”

“Hmm, I’m guessing you like the finer things in life. You appreciate premeditation and are a meticulous planner. Or maybe you just like baked potatoes.”

Elsa held back a giggle. “Who knew the fifth spirit was a baked potato.” The girls burst out laughing. Elsa could feel the bad thoughts loosening their grip as she smiled at her friend. _It was safe here, there was no danger._ _Except for the volatility of her mind._

They were almost at the center of the lake and Honeymaren slowed the boat by letting the oars drag against the water. Ripples spilled from vessel, disrupting the lake’s quiet demeanor. She began to tie the fishing lines and baited them one by one. Elsa watched with curiosity and admiration. Honeymaren was so focused and attentive, it was obvious she’d done this many times before.

“Okay, my turn.” Honeymaren glanced at Elsa as the fishing lines were dropped into the water. 

Elsa ventured, “Alright, let me think…” She turned her eyes to the dusky sky, “What color do you think in?”

Honeymaren turned her head to stare at Elsa.

“Oh sorry, is that not a good question? I’ll think of a better one.”

“No no! It’s an amazing question.” Honeymaren assured. “Ryder never has cool stuff like that.” 

The Northuldran girl continued to adjust the lines, making sure each was placed in the correct location around the canoe. “Green.” She said finally. “The green of the moss that grows near the Earth Giants.”

Elsa tilted her head, “Why?”

"It's the color of nature and hope...the two things that got me through those long days in the mist."

"I love that," Elsa murmured.

At that word, Honeymaren almost dropped one of the fishing lines. Elsa was too busy looking off into the distance to notice Honeymaren’s fumble. 

As they continued their banter, the sky moved from a dusky grey to light pink. The sunrise was beginning; the earth warming. They continued the game.

_“Are you more of a fish person or a grass person?”_

_“Would you rather be the sun or the moon?”_

" _Is it more important to feel happiness or sadness?”_

_“If you had to choose between glogg for a year or lutefisk for 10 days straight…”_

Honeymaren observed the spirit’s sparkling eyes which glittered in the early morning light. As the sunrise moved from pink to salmon, coral to crimson, Honeymaren barely noticed. She could only see the arresting image of Elsa sitting in front of her, captivated by her charisma and her elegance. Elsa had worn her tunic outfit today, the one she was in when they first met, and it was stunning. Ice drops on her shoulders reflected in the light, turning the lake into a network of glitter. Honeymaren could barely think.

“A sheep, and then Tuesday, probably.” Elsa answered and Honeymaren was struck from her reverie. She couldn’t even remember what she had asked.

Honeymaren was aching to talk to Elsa. Like, actually talk to her. And for the first time, Elsa’s warm smile broke her down. Her hands twisted around an excess piece of the fishing line.

“Hey Elsa, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something,” Honeymared said, biting her lip.

Elsa regarded her quizzically, “What’s on your mind?”

The adrenaline coursed tumultuously through Honeymaren’s body. Her palms were sweating; her mind a whirl. And she had completely forgotten about tending the fishing lines. _I just have to go for it,_ she resolved firmly.

“I…oh geez…I’m not sure how to say this.”

“Take your time,” Elsa glanced at her softly. “You’re okay.”

“I’m scared that you’ll think it’s weird…”

The conversation was beginning to sound strangely familiar. “Honeymaren, you can tell me anything.”

“I just wanted to, um, tell you that you mean a lot to me.” Honeymaren stammered. The fishing line was cutting into her ring finger. “And I, um, really like you.”

Elsa’s jaw dropped; her brain went fuzzy. Honeymaren continued to speak in the background, but she couldn’t hear over the din in her mind. The spirit’s head was spinning. _Honeymaren…likes me? What?! I thought…what?! It’s too fast. Too fast._

Her mind attacked her again, _it’s wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. This is vile. This is immoral. This is corrupt._

“Elsa, Elsa please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Honeymaren said in a trembling voice. She was terrified. _Did she just mess everything up?_ The fishing line drew blood.

Elsa didn’t hear Honeymaren’s words. The lake had frozen over. She gripped her hands together staring at the bottom of the boat. _Don’t feel. Don’t feel._

“Please breathe, Elsa. Just let me know you’re okay.”

Elsa looked up at Honeymaren, still clutching her hands to her chest. She took a deep breath.

“That’s it. Another one.”

Elsa filled her lungs with the cool air. Her mind was beginning to pacify, the waves of fear no longer crashing. The lake began to unfreeze.

“Okay. You’re okay. I’m gonna take us back to shore now, we’ll get you some water at the camp.” Honeymaren could barely keep from crying. _She was wrong about Elsa, everything was clear now._

Honeymaren began winding the fishing lines back into the boat, all of them empty. 

“…Honeymaren?”

The Northuldran looked up quickly. Elsa’s eyes were intense, her face a mixture of composure and fear.

  
“I like you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be coming soon--I just need to edit :)


	5. For the First Time in Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so far. And thank you for y'alls' readership!

"Wait, what?"

Elsa could barely believe her words. She had admitted it, out loud, to Honeymaren. She had never freely admitted something so intense to anyone before. It was a disembodying experience, and yet, it felt right.

"I like you, Honeymaren." Elsa repeated, more for herself than for Honeymaren. The words felt appropriate in her mouth. The voices in her head had relented.

"Elsa..." Honeymaren murmured. She put her hand out, a gesture acting as emotional release. She wanted badly to take Elsa into her arms, to intertwine their fingers--the Northuldrans tended to show love by touch.

Elsa hesitated. The intensity of the moment unnerved her. She wanted to place her hand in Honeymaren's but was afraid of how her magic might react. In such a concentrated situation, Elsa still had trouble separating her powers from the present.

She gingerly placed a finger on Honeymaren's palm. No ice. She decided to go for it, placing her hand lightly into Honeymaren's.

"You're gorgeous," Honeymaren whispered. 

Elsa's heart beat rapidly. Her face had flushed, her normal pallid cheeks replaced by a rubescent flourish. Her eyes and Honeymaren's were locked.

Honeymaren placed her other hand cautiously atop Elsa's, feeling the cold suffuse into her fingers.

"I've been wanting to say that for a while," She chuckled. "Ever since we met, really..."

"What does this mean?" Elsa finally choked out. Her mind was focused on the contact of their hands.

"I don't know. I've never done this before."

"Me neither. I mean...I've never had the chance to...I mean, oh, I don't know." 

But neither one cared. They were in the present, with the other, and it felt right.

"Would we be...together?" Elsa attempted. "You know...as a couple?"

Honeymaren's chocolate eyes pierced Elsa's with passion, "If you want to. I'm not opposed." She ended with a laugh.

Elsa's thoughts continued to swirl and eddy. And the negative voices had returned: _this is wrong, this is bad, you are abominable._ But they felt weaker.

_No_ , she said to herself. _This is right, this is good, I am human._

"I'd like that." Elsa smiled softly.

\-----------------

_The spirit sat beside the lakeside. Slippers had been kicked off and lay far up the beach, a forlorn reminder of civilization in the grasp of nature._

_The water curled up the sand, surging over toes, a hungry monster seeking a meal but unsatisfied with the selection. The spirit's shoulder's gravitated forward as she carefully observed the tide. Her eyes closed, the moonlight bright upon her pale features._   
_A crunch was heard in the woods behind her. A snap of a twig, a bough being moved out of the way. The spirit breathed deeply. Her lungs filled with anticipation. The air was tense, expectant, diaphanous._

_Her knees were pulled close to her chest, a position of comfort rather than disquiet. She was secure. Her forearms lay atop her knees, palms down, small flurries of yearning fluttering onto the saturated sand._

_Another twig snapped. It was closer, a few feet behind her._

_The spirit opened her eyes, distinguishing the floating starlight from moonlight shimmers. She breathed slowly, trying not to disrupt the cosmic waltz._

_A soft hand settled on her shoulder, the fingertips alighting on the crystals adorning her icy manteau; the spirit didn't flinch. The second hand lightly wrapped its way around her shoulders, cautious yet confident._

_Honeymaren sat quietly behind the spirit, both arms now wrapped around her shoulders. She held her tightly and settled her head near the spirit's. The pair could be seen by the living forest, a silhouette of intertwined affection._

_The spirit turned her head to catch Honeymaren's eyes. The movement disrupted their bind but Honeymaren kept her hands on the spirit's shoulders. Their eyes met, emblazoned with love..._

  
And Elsa was jolted awake. Something had called her. Or someone. And then the tidal wave of remembrance hit her. _The dream. Honeymaren. Together._ Her heart hurt, both with passion and pain.

And the voices were back with a vengeance. _Hoer! Synder! Djevelen! You vile, disgusting human. Not even a human. You are an infection, a disease, you need to be cleansed._

The voices screamed in her head and Elsa grabbed at her ears. "Stop, stop, make it stop, please..." 

_REVOLTING. MONSTROUS. ABHORRENT._

The spirit buried her head in her blankets, muscles tense, head pounding. "Go away, go away, go away."

_SHAMEFUL_

Elsa whimpered.

" _Go away..._ "

\------------------------

Yelana sat alone in her tent. Something was wrong with the ice spirit. 

Honeymaren had confided in her one night, although Yelana tried to give subtle, and then not-so-subtle, cues that she couldn’t care less about Honeymaren’s romantic escapades. As Yelana had mended her moccasin—it had ripped while herding the reindeer—Honeymaren rambled on about her feelings toward the new member of their tribe. It was exhausting.

Yelana acted disinterested, but really she was worried about the spirit. Since Anna had visited, Elsa seemed to be feeling better and was out of her tent most of the day. It was night-time that things got bad.

The tribe leader always woke in the middle of the night to make rounds around the camp. She tended the fires, a deterrent to vicious forest wolves, and made sure that all her tribe members were safe in their tents. However, in the past few nights, she would pass by the spirit’s abode and hear feeble sounds of pain. It sounded like repressed crying, cut by whimpers of distress. 

One night she had decided to peek in the tent. She found Elsa curled to the side, blankets kicked off as if she were struggling with a demon. Though sleeping, Elsa was still crying out, afflicted by merciless nightmares. 

Yelana had replaced the blanket but declined to wake her; she didn’t know if she’d be on the wrong end of a surprise ice blast.

_All of the spirits are so temperamental_ , she thought to herself.

But Elsa was also human, and thus more complicated.

Yelana rose with an exhale and made her way out into the deep night air. The three fires had been reduced to a low glow. She strategically positioned new logs onto the burn, sending sparks flying onto the dusty ground. 

Then she heard the crying. It was from the spirit’s tent again.

Quietly, toe to heel, she stepped closer to the dwelling. Her hardened features became an expression of concern, something she’d never let another tribe member see.   
The ground near Elsa’s tent, though not visibly frozen, was harder than that near the fire. Yelana could tell the spirit was in pain again.

She moved the tent flap out of the way and was met with a terrified stare. Elsa had been awake.

“I heard your crying.” The leader said stoically.

“I’m so sorry Yelana, I didn’t mean to wake you…” Elsa rubbed her eyes trying to conceal the extent of her episode. It was no use. Her cheeks were a mixture of frozen and wet tears, nose red, eyes puffy. 

“Come with me, Elsa.”

Yelana left the tent and waited for the spirit to follow. Elsa stepped from the abode, still swiping at her eyes, but curious to see what the leader wanted. The fires again burned bright in the middle of camp.

“Follow me.”

Yelana led them out of the camp, following the worn-down reindeer path. The half-moon provided just enough light for the pair to make it safely around outstretched logs and rocks. They walked in silence until they reached one of the Earth giants. 

“Ahem.” Yelana tapped her staff against the Earth giant’s foot. A rumbling accompanied him opening one eye and he looked at the two in irritation.   
Yelana pointed to a spot atop the mountain. “There, please.”

The Earth giant grumbled in annoyance but held out a hand. They stepped in, Yelana having to lend Elsa her staff so she could get on safely.   
“Yelana, where…” Elsa started but was quickly shushed by the impassive leader.

“We’re almost there.”

The Earth giant lifted them high into the air, the rocks of its limbs scraping together loudly and disrupting the quiet peace of night. The pair stepped off and Yelana laid her staff on its shoulder momentarily, “Thank you.”

Yelana led Elsa to an outcropping of rocks that overlooked the valley. The stars were clearly visible on all sides; it was a dome of diamonds.

“Sit.”

Elsa looked at her questioningly but obliged. 

“Now, tell me what’s wrong. And don’t say it’s nothing, I don’t have time for prevaricating.”

Elsa bit her lip. She was embarrassed that Yelana felt obligated to do this for her but trusted the Northuldran leader. Her hand pressed into the log’s harsh exterior.

“It’s Honeymaren.”

“And…?”

“I like her…I guess.”

Yelana sat next to Elsa, sighing with impatience. “ _And…_?”

Elsa couldn’t control her words anymore. “It feels wrong. Like I’m horrible or despicable for liking the same gender. And then my skin feels like it’s been infected and I just want to leave my own body…” She stopped. _What if Yelana confirmed her fears? What if Honeymaren was just as corrupt as Elsa was?_ She slumped over in regret.

“Elsa, look at me.”

Elsa tensed in fear. _The Northuldran leader was about to exile her from the tribe. She would be again without a home._ Her eyes shut tightly.

“Elsa.”

The spirit raised her eyes and met Yelana’s stare, flinching as if she were about to be slapped.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Yelana declared, emotionless. “Now, I have a question for you. If Anna were in your position, that is, she liked someone of the same gender, would you think she was despicable?”

Elsa’s eyes widened, “Of…of course not.”

“Then why do you think it’s such a vile act?”

The spirit was speechless.

Yelana softened her tone, “Look at the stars.” She pointed with her staff. “We exist in this world, we’re humans in a huge universe. The time that you exist on Earth is yours. And you get to love who you love.”

“Elsa, I felt the same way when I was your age. And then I met my wife and it all disappeared. Now I have the wisdom to see that my fears were unfounded.”

The spirit stared at Yelana in surprise, “Your wife?”

“My late wife.” She corrected. “Elsa, liking someone of the same gender is no different than liking a man. It’s all love, it’s all the same. And you are no different than anyone else in the tribe.”

Elsa looked up at the dark sky, a blanket sprinkled with dots of light. Her eyes welled with tears.

“And Elsa?”

The spirit turned to meet Yelana’s intense gaze.

“Your parents would be so proud of you.”


End file.
